• the floppy walk •

I noticed that I have quite a selection of silly walks, I can go to at any time. I suppose we all have a repertoire of ridiculous ramblings, and ludicrous locomotions, which we all sport, on special occasions, like funerals, and weddings, and such. Or, say, at the kids’ graduation ceremonies, and whatnot. I discovered the ‘floppy walk’, as a kid, which I used in supermarkets and malls that I was dragged to against my will, in the company of my mom and sisters, of a Saturday, long ago. I could fray those frazzled nerves to a snapping point, at will, just by motoring along, say, like a giraffe might, if she were a mere four foot three, as I used to be, poor babies. I can still do it, the floppy walk. Like a pro. It’s really very floppy: so floppy, in fact, that if I ever came flopping up to you in a public place, chances are you’ll be able to hear me long before you see me, and so, avoid the encounter altogether.

~ Tim Burchfield